Starting over can be hard, especially if you were in a long-term relationship, 
or don't like dating. But, it can also be a very fulfilling experience if 
you approach it in a positive way. 
Here are ways to put your best foot forward:

Close the door on the past.

After taking time to mourn and rehash your past relationship 
(hopefully with close friends), close the door or you can't move on. 
Meaning, don't talk about your ex to friends, family or dates; don't 
compare the people you meet to your ex; don't keep mementos from your 
ex; and definitely don't sing "your song" when you're in the shower. 
(read also 10 Ways to Get Over a Break Up at the bottom of this page.)

Repeat after me, "Single" is not a dirty word.

It has taken me years to realize it, but I no longer have to be half 
of a couple to be happy NOW. In my early 20s, it bothered me to go out 
by myself to movies or restaurants. I felt that people would notice and 
wonder what was wrong with me that I was by myself! But, after many years 
of business travel, I am now used to going places by myself and enjoying it! 
I enjoy the freedom I have to set my own schedule. When I feel the urge 
to go to a movie, I go! It doesn't bother me if it's a Saturday night, 
I can go to dinner and a movie without feeling odd. And, people notice 
when you are confident being single. It stands out, and makes you even 
more attractive as a person they want to meet. 
It's obvious that you have chosen to be single.

Learn from your past relationships.

Take a hard look at your past relationships and see if you have set a 
pattern that is not working for you. For example, I am the nurturing type, 
and I find myself giving too much of myself for my partner, expecting 
little in return. That puts a relationship in too much of an imbalance, 
and later I get upset when he doesn't do enough for me. I am learning to 
slow down my nurturing, and expect more from my partner from the very 
beginning of our relationship. 

Rediscover YOU!

Did you give up too much of yourself in your last relationship? 
It's one thing to compromise in a relationship, but quite another to bend 
so much that you end up a different person. Is there anything you gave up 
for your previous relationships that you would love to recover? This is 
the perfect time to increase your self-confidence by improving yourself. 
Start that diet or exercise program, get a haircut, buy a new outfit or 
new perfume, do something that will boost your spirits. But, whatever you 
do, do it for yourself, not anyone else. Call me, 
and I will meet you at the treadmills...

Do not compromise and accept what you don't want!

Sometimes it is very hard to know what you want, but much easier to identify 
what you DON'T want. This can range from smoking and drinking preferences, 
to religion, politics, children, education, sports, etc. Get a notebook, 
and jot down what you want and don't want in a partner, being as specific 
as possible. Then, rank the items in order of importance. Decide before 
you ever meet someone new, what you will not compromise on, then stick to it!

Get out & meet people!

Be in control of your dating.

If dating is hard for you, take it slower. In the beginning, only go out with 
a group of friends, and try to get out once a week until you are comfortable 
going out. When you do date, meet first for lunch or coffee instead of a formal
dinner date.

Don't let first impressions fool you.

Pay attention to first impressions, but don't expect perfection from the people 
you meet. There's a difference between having a bad feeling about someone's
moral integrity, and dismissing them quickly for something like what type of socks
he is wearing. 

Don't commit too quickly.

There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time as long as you
are honest with your dating partners. Don't force relationships. 
Get to know others and take time to discover if you like them and want to spend
more time with them. 

Don't look at every date as "the one."

There really are plenty of fish in the sea. Keep your dates lighthearted, not 
crossing over the line from getting to know your date to creating a false sense 
of intimacy that will cloud your decisions. Don't be afraid to say, "Next!" 
if it is obvious to you that it won't work out. How can you tell? One quick test: 
Would you rather watch TV... alone?

~ 10 Ways To Get Over A Break Up ~

Even if you don't retain any type of relationship with your ex-partner, it's 
important for your emotional well-being and your future relationships for you 
to get beyond the break up as well as possible. 

Here are ten suggestions in case you are too close to the forest to see the trees.

1. Don't try to "get even." Even if your partner cheated on you, spending time 
   trying to get revenge just zaps your personal energy. 

2. Don't keep tabs. This includes online. For example, take your partner off your 
   AOL's buddy list; don't talk to friends to keep tabs on their activities; 
   and don't drive by their house.

3. Don't use excuses to see or contact your ex-partner. This includes not leaving 
   personal items so you can make excuses to keep seeing your ex-partner.

4. Don't be afraid to be alone. Take this time to understand what happened, and use 
   this time to strengthen and grow emotionally. 

5. Don't live in the past. Taking the time to understand what happened is different 
   from obsessing and dwelling on the past.

6. Don't try to get involved with someone else on the rebound. If you try to get 
   involved with someone new too soon after a break up, then you will bring a lot 
   of emotional baggage to this new relationship.

7. Pack away, don't toss. Pack away the mementos, pictures, and souvenirs from your 
   time together. Don't toss right away unless it was a really bad break up. Later you
   might want to keep some items.

8. Recognize your dating pattern. Are you continually dating someone who isn't 
   compatible with you, your interests, and your lifestyle? 

9. Forgive yourself. Did you do or say things that you regretted later? 
   It's too easy to just blame yourself. You can't go back and change the past, 
   but you can learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself.

10. Forgive your partner. Forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. 
    Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget or stay with your partner. 
    Sometimes forgiving is making the decision to cut your losses and walk away.

If you have any suggestion or would like to contribute something, e-mail me
 
Send Me a Note.