She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put Sagittarius.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.

It took her months to figure out she could use her AM radio at night.

She was staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "concentrate".

She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.

When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

Under education on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

She studied for a blood test and failed.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She sold her car so she would have gas money.

She looked into a box of Cheerio's and said, "OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!"

She couldn't be a pharmacist because she can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.

What's the definition of "eternity?" 4 blondes at a 4-way stop. 

What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.

What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This goes in front"

A blonde man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help... my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart".

The 911 operator asks, "Is this her first child?"

To which the blond replies, "Of course not, you idiot... this is her husband".

Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey, how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"

The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."

"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove
my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps. After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals— unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."